my mind starts racing and i have so much going on in my head and i start to tell him so many things all at one time, very quickly and a bit loud from all the excitement-
then i stop.
i stop and i think for a sec about all i want to do, and am thinking then just give Him a hug and tell him its enough just to be by His side. to embrace and feel Him there is all i need.
He then turns to me and tells me about this past season. says its been a time of trial, a time of growth, a time of going deeper with Him. much freedom and strengths were taken from me, and the lavish mantles and things He clothed me in were seemingly torn to shreds and i was left in a pit. Gosh i hated that place in the beginning.
the thing about pits are.. they are nothing but holes in the ground. you can sit around and wait for yourself to be sold away into slavery or--- you can start digging deeper.
so i dug. i went deeper and deeper and started finding that this wasn't a pit at all, but it was a well that hadn't hit water yet. and when i hit that water it felt so refreshing, so alive, so much like what i had been missing and needing. it brought me to the surface and brought life to those around me.
then He tells me, i'm giving you your wings back, while giving me large white eagles' wings. He proceeds, many i let go and never return. some go early and aren't mature enough to make it back. you have found this place and choose to keep coming back. this garden is not just your nest and home, it is your well and it is where you find rest and strength. i set you free because you WILL come back, because your sustenence is here, in Me and because you love Me.
i saw earlier that my heart was a bit like that well, and that i was in it. i knew i had to make room for Him, and knew that it had to be cleaned and enlarged. so i started clawing at the dark walls, much of it was clean but not polished. as i started cleaning and clawing, the walls started to show things behind the dirt and grime. i saw gold, and knew i had reached it. so i took all the dirt and piled it toward the middle and thats when i saw His hand reach down and grab it.
as i looked down and saw my heart as He saw it, it was a heart of gold.
what is in a name?? the reason why there's so many names for God and at the same time does not like to be named, is because the aspect of a name not only gives identity, but it can constrict and constrain. limit and set boundaries to what you can and cannot do. for example when one is named a cat, it is not because of a fierce bark.
it is for this reason that we can't know the greatness and fullness of who He is without more revelation of what He does, which totally removes previous judgements and preconceived notions and limitations we had for Him. as He removes these veils, we start to see Him more clearly, and at the same time more of Him which is so much more than we knew.
so here's something to think about, when Jesus has a name that only He knows, that must be so much more intense than anything we could ever imagine.. and may take eternity for us to even scratch the surface.
all this gives us more insight to the aspect of marriage between the bride of Christ and Jesus. as we are made one, we ourselves are changed. our former name is no longer remembered, but we now have His name. that which once contained us, which limited and held us back no longer confines nor defines us. we are free- free to dream, free to live, free to be.
so this means that every infirmity, disease, thing that is not in alignment with the kingdom HAS to bow down and submit to us, for we have His name. the firstborn of creation, king of glory.
